i hear you.

I’ve heard you. 

I’ve heard you every night.

For years now.

I’ve ignored you.

Thought you were a silly dream.

Or a side effect of drugs.

But now you’ve gotten my attention.

All of you. 

I’ve heard you when I’ve been desperate for sleep.

I’ve heard your voices the moment the lights went out.

I hear you when I’m alone.

And now I hear you when I’m with others.

Now I see you. 

I’ve seen you before.

But all along I was convinced that it was just a nightmare.

That you were a fictional character hiding in the depths of my subconscious.

But now I know you’re real. 

And now I listen to you. 

And you’re right.

I’m not good enough.

I’m not skinny enough.

I’m not smart enough. 

I’m not pretty enough.

Countless times I have tried to prove you wrong.

But you’re still in my head.

Yet you offer me another world.

One where I can be free.

One where I wont be anxious.

Where I wont be scared.
Where I can leave my past behind.

But I must also forget the present.

Give up my future.

You speak to me of this other world.

You try to bribe me.

Try to trade me.

All I have to do is give up.

Seems like a good deal to me.